Things You Should Know

How to walk like a human being in Wal-Mart.

I kid you not, I almost ran into 17 people yesterday in the span of my 10-minute trip to restock my Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi. One couple even blocked the long hallway exit and trapped me as they had a 12-second conversation in front of me, completely aware of my trying to awkwardly weave my cart through to escape them. Unless you’re elderly or managing a legion of toddlers, you are probably being sarcastically tossed about in my brain if you won’t let me pass. Alas, I’m so afraid of confrontation that I will turn around and go down a different aisle all day long just to avoid having to be awkward. (I consider a trip to Wal-Mart a workout.)

Earthquakes are fun.

Alright, not everywhere, I’ll give you that. But in Oklahoma? They’re kinda fun. Plus, they probably mean the Lord is coming back soon, so cheer up people! ;)

Little Caesar’s is wonderful.

I’ve been chastised more than a few times for my bold Little Caesar’s love, but really…$5 for a hot cheese pizza with crispy crust? And $4 for Italian cheese bread that tastes like God himself gave them the recipe? It’s almost too good to be true. I know it may not be Hideaway pizza, but I’m so frugally obsessed that I don’t even care.

Autumn begins in September. 

Sweetheart, it’s 100 degrees outside. Put those fall boots away until you can at least feel a breeze.

Sleepless in Seattle is a triumphant story of a stalker. 

I didn’t realize this until recently, but just dwell on that for a good minute and a half and let me know if you agree with me.

Unless your selfie has a purpose, it doesn’t need to be seen.

If you have a dog posing with you, an outrageously gorgeous background, or if you’re going to some special dance, event, or your first day of school – by all means, post that selfie and embrace the likes and comments. If you’re bored at work or sitting in your car with a cup of coffee…just text it to your Mom. Don’t get me wrong. You’re all beautiful, but I promise we haven’t forgotten what you look like since yesterday’s selfie.

Eating healthy works faster than working out.

This is a sad realization for me, because I adore my pizza, my chocolate, my bread…carbs all around, really. I can tell a difference in the leanness of my abs after a week of protein and veggies WAY more than a week of ab workouts and running…not saying I plan to give up on either, but if I have a busy week with no time for workouts, it’s good to know chicken and cauliflower will see me through. ;)

This post is mostly sarcastic. 

Love you all. Promise. Even if you run over me in Wal-Mart wearing fall boots and posting a selfie. ;)



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