If I Could Go Back…

Five years ago today, I stood on a flowered stage and promised myself to you. I promised to love and cherish you, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. The day that took almost a year to plan was over in what felt like a matter of seconds, and all the sudden, I was your wife.


If I could go back…I’d pick a different dress. I would have tried on more poofy dresses or looked for a copycat of Julia Roberts’ dress from Runaway Bride. I’d probably have a different color scheme, and I would have my hair and makeup professionally done. I’d spend less time worried about the music for the reception, and I’d spend more time soaking up each “this only happens once” moment. I would have taken more pictures, I would have talked to our grandparents more that day, and I would have directly handed my bouquet to my best friend instead of throwing it. My guest list might be a bit different. I might even have planned a destination wedding instead of a big church wedding.

But I’d still choose you.


If I could go back, I may have suggested we pick a different apartment – one that wasn’t above chain smokers who played death metal music at record-breaking decibels. I might have asked you to keep looking for other jobs when you were offered a position at a place that would later lay off a huge portion of employees, including you. I would have taken Jack with us literally everywhere when he was a puppy to conquer his fear of car rides. I would spend less time and money at Old Navy (maybe), and I would spend more time with you and Jesus. I definitely would have researched more about mortgages, escrow, and other ulcer-inducing pains of adulthood.

But I’d still choose you.


If I could go back, I would have asked the hard questions and had the big fights earlier. I would have prayed more, complained less, and made more of an effort to encourage you daily. I might have left stupid arguments alone, and I might have made us start exercising together way earlier. I would have planned exactly the same amount of vacations though. ;) I might have planned more. Haha.

But I’d still choose you.


Being married for five years makes me feel so super old…but being married to you for five years makes me feel so outrageously blessed. I’d choose you over and over again if I could go back. Thank you for taking care of me, for praying over me daily, and for letting the dog outside when it’s cold or dark. ;)

Here’s to the rest of our years, however many the Lord gives us. I love doing life with you, and I can’t wait to see what new adventures God has for us. I love you, Andrew Robert. Happy Anniversary! :)



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